For my entire life, I have been told and have seen females primarily take on their husband's last name after getting married. In June 2014, my brother Steven got married to a girl named Cat Clark, who immediately became Cat Mirsky afterwards, and with pride and love. Legally, she was still Cat Clark until a few months later (yay paperwork), but now she no longer uses Clark. Another example, my girlfriend's mom's maiden name was Hetherwick, replaced with Woods, but she uses Hetherwick as her middle name now. So on that note, I do believe that women should use their husband's last name after marriage, as its customary and there's honestly no real reason to be opposed to doing so. And if you want to change but also keep it, do what my girlfriend's mom did and make it your middle name. In my opinion, it is not a big deal at all, and I don't understand why feminists make such a huge deal about changing their last name when it's been done FOREVER. I don't understand why we should change it if it has been done for a very long time, and to protest it is ridiculous. If a woman and a man loves each other, she is going to be obliged to change her last name so that it makes her spouse happy and also hers. For example, in Jewish tradition, when two people get married, they are leaving their parental households into a new one between the two of them. In regards to last name, it is traditional to change it to the male's last name, as just because you are your own household, doesn't mean you're not family to your parents. It basically means you're more independent.
I think men taking the woman's name is ridiculous because if it has been tradition for the woman to take a man's last name, why are they trying to change that? It's not hearthwarming like a Buzzfeed article would try to make it, it's just dumb, in my opinion. In summary, I believe that the woman should take the man's name to 1) to keep up tradition, 2) because it out of love to do so and an obligation and 3) just to make everybody's life easier. With so many liberal protests trying to eliminate traditions that have kept this country together, this shouldn't be another issue to bring up. It's not even that big of a deal!
Nathan, I always appreciate the thought and enthusiasm you bring to your blogging. This post is no exception. My question for you after reading your post,, then, is what do you say to someone who does not necessarily believe that just because something has been done one way for a long time validates it as an appropriate practice. Black people were forced to ride at the back of the bus for a long time until someone challenged that presumption. Anti-semetic language and behavior was perfectly acceptable in business dealings and in the media until people pushed back. Gays and lesbians gathering in a public social setting was considered criminal behavior for many years until the laws were fought and overturned. While the tradition of women taking a man's name certainly might not carry the same social inequality weight of these examples, it nonetheless certainly speaks to some social hierarchy as you yourself admit that it would seem silly for a man to take his wife's name. I would argue that many men would find this emasculating, which implies that there is some power given to who takes a name versus who keeps his or her own. None of this is to say that you certainly have a right to your own opinion and you make some very valid points to support your argument. But the idea of "tradition" as validation for behavior is often problematic for those who exist is marginalized populations where "tradition" has often been used as reason for subjugation. Thanks again for your post and keep up the great work- I love hearing so many different voices on these sorts of topics.
ReplyDeleteI think the reason it becomes a controversial topic is because of the root of the entire process. Marriage was a symbol of trading ownership from the father of a women to her husband, switching the last name goes along with that. I do not think that the fact that it is a tradition validates anything, as many older traditions oppressed a variety of people, and have been changed since. And if changing a name is done "out of love" why don't more husbands change their names to their wife's name? Just a thought :)
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